You Can't Row and Steer at the Same Time

This Week's Big Theme

In rowing, the coxswain is the one person on the boat who doesn't row. They face forward, read the race, and call the strokes. When the boat falls behind, every instinct says get in a seat and help pull. But the moment they pick up an oar, they lose sight of the course, and the whole boat suffers for it.

That image came up in a coaching call this week, and it hasn't left me since. Because the same trap shows up constantly in real estate leadership: when the numbers get tight, the leader stops leading and starts producing. It feels responsible. It's actually a band-aid. The team still has a system problem. Now it also has no one steering.

The coxswain's job is to fix the rhythm, not to become another rower. That requires staying in the seat that only you can sit in, even when it's uncomfortable to watch the boat struggle.

3 Levels, One Lesson

Solo Agent: You don't have a team to lead yet, but you have a coach. And part of my job is to be your coxswain: to see your race from the outside, call what I notice, and help you course-correct before a small drift becomes a big problem. But between our calls, you are the only one steering. That means holding your own standards, keeping your commitments to yourself, and not waiting for accountability from the outside to do what you already know you need to do. Here's the longer game: if you ever plan to build a team, the way you lead yourself right now is the preview of how you'll lead others.

Mid-Level Team: When production slips, the temptation is to jump back in and carry deals yourself. Resist it. Your team doesn't need another producer. They need a leader who will look at the system, find what's broken, and fix it at the source. Carrying deals yourself is the most expensive way to solve a systemic problem. It works once. And then nothing changes.

Large Team: At this level, you're not running one boat. You're running a fleet. Each team leader is a coxswain on their own boat, responsible for calling the strokes, modeling the standards, and holding their rowers capable of the race. Your job is to hold the coxswains accountable. That means the standards aren't just for your agents. They're for your leaders first. Mo Anderson's question becomes the most important one you can ask: 'Am I hurting them or helping them by allowing them to continue on this course?'

From the Field

A team leader came into a call this week frustrated. Production was down. Culture was fraying. His instinct was to re-enter sales, close a few deals, and stabilize things. We talked about why that would make things worse, not better. The team already knew the numbers were soft. What they were watching for was how their leader would respond. He stayed in the coxswain seat. He set clearer standards, scheduled the hard conversations, and let the team feel the accountability of a leader who wasn't going to rescue them from their own effort.

One Question for the Week

What version of you is making this decision? The founder who feels responsible for saving everyone, or the CEO who is stewarding an organization that must eventually thrive without him?

Quick Hits

The coxswain who picks up an oar doesn't save the race. They lose the view.

You cannot hold others to a standard you don't hold yourself. Self-leadership is the prerequisite.

'Close enough' on your own daily activity becomes the acceptable standard for everyone you'll ever lead.

AI Tip

After your next team meeting or 1-on-1, paste your notes into ChatGPT and ask: "Based on these notes, where am I solving problems my team should be solving, and what's one question I could ask next time that puts the responsibility back on them?"