How Do Y'all See Your Clients?
A business owner told me this week that their team has started treating clients like the problem. Complaints about the “difficult” ones. Frustrated messages that never should have been sent. Ongoing grumbling about who “sucks.”
Their core values were solid. But nobody had ever defined what those values look like when a client is frustrating.
That’s the gap. Core values aren’t wall art. They’re a filter. When a situation gets messy, they answer the question: “What do we do here?” Defined well, they give your people a framework for navigating decisions without needing you in the room.
That’s leverage. When values are clear, decision making and thinking don’t live in one person’s head. The leader stops being the one who has to save the day, and the whole organization gets better at making good calls on its own.
Here’s what I told them: it’s okay to be frustrated with a client. It’s not okay to hold on to it. Frustration is human. A grudge is a culture.
And it leaks. If frustration is behind the email, the person on the other end feels it, usually more than you intended.
Your values aren’t tested when clients are easy. They’re tested when someone nitpicks, changes their mind, or doesn’t see what you see.
3 Levels, One Lesson
Solo Operator: Finish this sentence in writing: “What I believe about my clients is ______.” That belief becomes your guide for how you treat and handle every client, especially when they get emotional or difficult. It’s also a filter. When a client consistently can’t meet you there, they may not be a match for you, your service, or your culture, and the right move is to part ways respectfully. Then check your last three frustrated conversations against it. Notice who you vent to, too. Your assistant, ISA, or partner is listening.
Mid-Level Team: Run a client-talk audit. For the next week or two, don’t fix anything. Just observe. What do your team members say about clients, and how do they seem to think about them? Listen in huddles, group chats, hallway comments, and emails. Write down what you hear, the good and the bad. Then bring 3 to 5 anonymous examples to the team and ask: “What do these tell us about how we see our clients?” Let them spot the patterns, then write the standard together.
Large Team: Turn every core value into observable behaviors, including what a violation looks like. Clear values shape how your people think and act: they know how to handle a tough moment with a client without waiting on permission. Core values are hireable and fireable, but only if people know what they mean. Then use those same values on the front end to identify right-fit clients, and be willing to part ways with the ones who aren’t.
From the Field
Early in my career, clients would nitpick every little thing at the inspection. It wore on me, until I started setting expectations at the client consultation: here’s how we think about inspections, here’s what matters. The clients didn’t change. The setup did.
A lot of client frustration is a conversation that didn’t happen at the beginning.
One Question for the Week
If a client were sitting in the room while your team talked about them, what would they hear?
Quick Hits
Frustrated is fine. Resentful is a culture problem.
“Difficult” and “disrespectful” are different. Know where your line is, and say it out loud.
A value without defined behaviors is a poster, not a standard.
AI Tip
Paste your core values into ChatGPT or Claude and ask:
For each value, write 3 observable behaviors and 2 examples of what violating it looks like on a real estate team dealing with a frustrating client. Keep each under 15 words.
Use the output as the draft for your next team conversation.
Idea Worth Stealing
In coaching, we see every client as creative, resourceful, and whole. That one sentence changes how I show up when they’re stuck. What’s yours?
Comments